Why You Should Invest In The Sext

love, relationships, Sex Positive

Yes, sexting is a thing. Where you been waldo? Its true – people are becoming more erotically charged and taking the plunge into the world of digital sex. I sure do it, do you?

Sitting at home in my PJ’s on a lonely Friday night, chocolate wrappers to the side of me and my hair up in an unbrushed, messy bun looking like I just walked straight off the “Thriller” set. Not so seductive hey? But…oh and there’s a big, huge BUT. ..To him, I’m laying in my bed with nothing on looking like a damn sna-yack! Hot damn!

I ran a little poll on my Twitter (@sarahspencerxxx) to see what your thoughts were on the steamy sexting trend and 92% of those who got involved said they were actively a “sexter” with 85% of those admitting they send/receive explicit photos during a sexting session. Furthermore, 90% of people think that sexting is an enjoyable, healthy part of dating or being in a relationship.

Erm…why though?

Erm…why not?

It’s 2018 people! What would life be without a bit of fucking through your phone? Sending explicit messages has become a very normal and enjoyable way to flirt in this generation and I’m all for it! Not only is it sexy as hell, it can also be an exceptionally healthy part of your relationship.

I’ve had a long distance relationship where obviously, there isn’t as much juicy, poking going on as I would have liked, So I had to polish up on my sexting skills so we could both keep things exciting from either sides of the Atlantic.

Whether its to keep things exciting in a long distance relationship like me, or flirting with your partner whilst he’s at work, you can start building up on those fantasies over the phone, ignite that fire from within and just watch how steamy it gets when you’re next physical!

If things have turned a little stale in the bedroom recently, you can be a little reminiscent with your sexts in an attempt to try spice up that sex life!

Sexting can be nourishing to relationships. Whether its damn nasty or very vanilla, if sexting makes you and the other person feel good about yourselves – then that’s a good sign!

There is a huge link to sexual satisfaction and happiness in your relationship. It encourages attraction and that “feel good” factor.

Where do I even start?

Sexting is something that we’re all just expected to learn, right? One of them “Go with the flow, jump in at the deep end with your eyes closed, risk it all” type of things and see how you get on. There is no right or wrong way to do it, but with a little help you can definitely be more savvy with your sexting skills.

Being sexually suggestive is a great way to get things moving.

Time to set the tone: if things feel like they’re hotting up between you both and it’s going in the right direction when it comes to flirting, try asking a question.  Have you guys previously hooked up before? It’s a typically easy way to get things started. Casual lines like “Can you remember that time we fucked at that party?” or be sexually suggestive using innuendos – make it playful! Turn up that sexual tension gage a little, it’s time to tease!





Revved up – now what?

Once it’s clear that you’re both going straight down Sexting Street, you can start your sultry, sexual exchange. Talk about fantasies, favourite positions and if you’re brave enough – try some Role Play!

Sexting “Don’t Dos” 

This is to my fellas all around the world, listen clear – do NOT be bold right away and send a dick pic. It will more than likely make her cringe than it will make her quiver. She’ll probably bring them shutters down and then you’re well fucked. Unless you’ve both mutually agreed to pic swap, refrain from whacking out the old saveloy sausage – just for now!

Respect: Remember this isn’t just about you. Keep that appreciation for the other person on the phone so you don’t end up saying something too crude and coming off as disrespectful! Boundaries people, boundaries!

Be Aware of the risks involved with Sexting

Remember that once you send pictures and messages, they’re out there and you can’t retract them. Make sure that you trust the person you’re engaging with at all times and don’t send anything you may regret later on! Once it’s sent – it’s sent!

What are you waiting for?

Go get them fingers moving and have fun 😉

Love and shit,

S xoxo

I’m A Vajaculating Vixen!

Sex Positive

Ok. I’ve done it. I’ve finally mastered the art. I’ve done the studying, I’ve done the research. I’ve done it all. After month’s of hard work and nothing but sheer determination, I’m happy to announce that I am now a graduate, received my Masters in Vajaculation and can join all the other spiritual squirters worldwide in making the world a wetter place. Splash by Splash. Spray by Spray. Where’s my Mortarboard and gown bish?

I shall go forth in pleasure and seize whatever my platinum pussy shall desire.

I’m a human water fountain and I couldn’t be prouder.

However, it’s not exactly something to write home about so I’m going to tell you guys instead! I usually tell my mum everything but I’m not sure how I’d bring this up over Sunday dinner.

Me: “Mum, guess what?”

Mum: “What Sweetie?”

Me: “I learnt to squirt yesterday and I sprayed it all up my fucking wall.”

Naaaaaaaa. I’d rather not.

I’m So Pussy Proud

Proud is an understatement. Like seriously. Do you know how hard this shit is? I swear to you, I’ve spent months trying to perfect my vaginal squirting. I even speculated if it was even a real thing and began to feel like squirting was just a myth. Sort of like the myth about how “too much sex would ruin your vagina!” – completely bogus. But nope, I fucking did it my friends.

I’ve always been in awe of the girls on my Twitter timeline who are frequent squirters. That shit is so hot. I always thought it just looks sexy as hell and I’ve always wanted someone to say to me “Come and squirt on daddy’s dick.”…and now I can do the squirtation on da daddy’s dick myself.

 I’m a Vajaculating Vixen 

I feel like a squirting superhero right now. Don’t get on my bad side now, or else I’ll open my legs and squirt you in the eyeball with my Vag Venom.

Let’s take it back to the start of my Squirting Studies

So, after many a conversation with a certain male. Let’s call him Daddy. He knows exactly who he is. He had told me how much he’d love me to squirt for him. So we spoke about it a few times on the phone and he explained to me what I needed to do. First off, how sexy is that? Having a man that can teach you things about your own vagina.

Anyway, with a little bit of research on google I started trying and just couldn’t manage it. I just couldn’t get it right and I began getting really frustrated with myself. I almost gave up.

Until…we were having phone sex a few days ago. Now, I’ve got to tell you about daddy because I need you to understand. This isn’t no ordinary man. He is NASTY. Now, me being quite a nasty girl myself…it’s quite hard sometimes to find someone who’s on the same level of NASTY as I am. That shit is hard to find. But I tracked him down!

He got off work and I desperately wanted to make him cum. I didn’t even care about myself, I just wanted to make sure he was good. Like, Good Good. You know like…real gooooooooood.

But my God, Listening to this man breathe the way he does and knowing how much he was loving it. That shit turned me on something chronic and well…the rest was history.

It Isn’t Pee!

(Well not totally.)

I’m not going to lie. It used to really confused me before because I always thought it was JUST pee! I couldn’t get my head around it and there are definitely a lot of conflicting articles online about Squirting itself. Some say that it’s impossible for any liquid other than urine to be released from anywhere around the vagina, and other articles heavily argue about a gland called the “Skene Gland” and how it’s a result of “Female Ejaculation.” Some say that its a combination, mostly prostate fluid but with a little touch or urine.

The first time I actually squirted, I pulled out the responsible toy (a 9 Inch curved dildo – Perfect for hitting that Spot!) and it was dripping. I mean dr-ip-ping wet. I noticed that the liquid was white though. A real milky colour, the only way I can describe it is by imagining diluting milk with water. It wasn’t sticky or thick. It was just milky water.

Another thing I noticed straight away was that it smelt SUPER SWEET. My thighs were wet and it smelt sweet. Really sugary. I even smelt the wet patch on my bed sheets (I had given up at the thought of actually being able to squirt, so I was totally unprepared and made a huge mess!) and it also smelt really sweet. Sort of like sweet popcorn? It’s the strangest, sexiest thing ever.

What helped me achieve Vajaculation

  • Relax and take your time
  • Get comfortable and lay down a towel
  • Locate your G Spot (It feels slightly rigid, on the vaginal wall towards your stomach.)
  • Lubrication is key!
  • Use a curved sex toy so you can reach that angle.
  • Stimulate your G Spot (The more you stimulate, the more you may feel some pressure that feels as though you’re about to urinate. This is a good sign! Relax. You’re not going to pee!)
  • Push a little – Stay relaxed.

Personally, these are steps that helped me achieve Squirting Success. It may or may not work for you. Remember that we are all different, it may be easier or harder for you to achieve it. If you have a partner, experiment with him/her and play around a little and most importantly – just have fun!

Squirting is NOT about being sexually liberated

Don’t feel pressure to achieve female ejaculation. Yes, it’s exciting. Yes it may create a bit of a buzz. But it’s nothing short of a party trick. Gushing, Trickling or a full on squirt  – there is no right or wrong way to do it…and if you can’t do it. Then that’s ok too.

Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t.

Whether it’s climax or squirting, we are all different. We have different bodies that all do different things. Just enjoy the ride!





The Ultimate Guide To Perfecting Your Solo Orgasm

Sex Positive

Girls, it’s time to Cum!

Light those candles, put on some music, open a bottle of red, lay back and let loose!

Let’s get perfecting them solo orgasms ladies! But hey, let’s face it, sometimes nothing can actually compare to being fucked senseless by a sexy ass dude who knows a little suttin’ suttin’ in the bedroom…if you know what im saying. BUT there ARE times when you just need that “you” time you know?

Ok, maybe the candles and the music is a little OTT (although there has been a time when I’ve got so deep in the mood that a little Tory Lanez has pushed me over the edge, I’m not gonna lie. Try cumming to “Friends with Benefits” when that beat drops, because that shit is dope.) Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that you haven’t got to be OTT like me, but just find somewhere comfortable where you can really relax and be in the moment. Your pussy and you. The royal Va-jay-jay. It’s like love making for one, with a side plate of dildo and a bottle of lube. A great concoction if you know where to start.

I actually believe that solo play is therapeutic. Its good for the soul. Whether you’re single, dating or married, solo play can really benefit and intensify your sexual experiences with other people.  It can help perfect your sex life with partners if you really understand your own body. If you take the time to learn about your own vagina and really invest time in learning about what gets you going as an individual, along with good communication with a partner,  you really do have a chance here to amplify the senses you receive during sexual intercourse.

Pleasure – we all like it.

You’d be straight up lying if you told me you don’t. You deserve orgasms. Maybe the world would be a better place if we were all cumming more often. What do you reckon? Make pleasure a primary issue in your life.

I have quite often found that reaching orgasm has also been an incredibly breath taking stress reliever. Also, as somebody who suffers with migraines and cluster headaches, in recent months I have found that making myself reach orgasm will actually relieve and fully end a migraine. Now, I’m no medic or doctor but I have read before that an orgasm releases endorphins in the brain which is a natural painkiller. It has totally worked for me. At times, if I’m alone, I will just take myself to the bedroom and whack one out for a brief moment. and Voila.

So, are you having your solo time? 

Now, solo play doesn’t always have to involve toys. Yeah, toys can definitely spice up your solo time and make things a little more exciting but ultimately, if your mind is in the moment, your fingers can work a miracle, baby girl!

When you get some alone time, chill out on your bed or on the sofa. You haven’t even got to be lying down. Just be comfortable. Don’t feel ashamed to look for a bit of material online. You’re human. We all do it.  So if porn is something you’re into, then get yourself some good pussy play material and off we go.

Now, we’re on our way. Don’t rush, take this real slow because an orgasm that is staved off and waited out, is an orgasm that you’re not going to want to miss. There is so much sexual energy when you’re building up to a climax. Don’t be afraid to really take your time.

Remember that the majority of women reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation. I reach orgasm every time through sex or solo play, and it’s always down to stimulating the clitoris. I have never reached orgasm through just penetration alone although some women do actually reach climax from stimulating the G Spot. So props to you, if that works – because that shit is damn hard. I’ve come very close to cumming with penetration alone during sex but I think that was due to the intensified fucking that was occurring at the time. Like out of this world, heightened senses that I literally felt like I was about to explode all over his dick, but…a little rub here and there whilst he was fucking me and eventually that was what got me off in the end. My lord I get so carried away with my sexualised imagination…back to what I was saying.

So stimulating the clit is your priority. Using fingers or a vibrator – whichever works best for you. Gentle strokes over the clitoral hood, rubbing, pushing two fingers up and down the labia and bringing them back up again and circulating on your clitoris. This is time for you to really explore and get a good feel. What makes you squirm? Where are you sensitive? What gets your back arching?

Toys are a God Send

Although sometimes knowing where to start with sex toys can be a little intimidating,  don’t be put off by being adventurous. I will do another post for this. Also, don’t forget your lube. Lube isn’t just to keep things wet down there, it will also stop you from getting sore if you’re really going at it. Vagina’s are sacred, let’s take care of them ladies!

Lube is your friend!

Rampant Rabbits are a great aid in solo pussy play because they cover you from both angles. Literally. Sometimes they can even cover you from three angles. I got you covered, girl don’t worry.

Stock up on batteries and let the Rabbit do its thing, because with penetration and clitoral stimulation working its magic on your Va-jay-jay at the same time. You’ve got a one way ticket to your very own “Meg Ryan Orgasm.”

Dildos can work their magic just as well as battery operated toys. If you want to have more control over your orgasm, this is for you. There is so much more than just pushing it in and out. Dildos come in such a huge variety that there is definitely one out there that will push your buttons. I like mine thick, personally. Or curved. Work out what you like and get your technique perfected! Some of my favourite techniques are:

  • Deep – We all like being dicked deep. During solo play, I find that my curved dildos are the best for this technique. It makes it a little more “Je Ne Sais Quoi” but adds a little magic.
  • “Just the tip baby!” – Tease, tease, tease. Adds to heighten your climax.
  • Swirl – circulating your toy adds motion and touches a bit of everything.
  • The bad boy DP. Double Penetration – Talk about intensifying a climax. Be safe here and hygienic.

Just Get Comfortable

Like I said before, get comfortable. What might be comfortable for someone else may not work for you. Personally, I like laying down or riding my toy. Sitting down, facing down, laying on your side are all good ways to maximise self pleasure. Have a play about and see what angles work best for you.

If shower sex is your thing, girrrrrrl then take your sexy self into the bathroom, get butt naked and make sweet love to yourself. Get dirty and clean at the same time!

If you like your orgasm under the duvet, take yourself to bed and get hot and sweaty under those covers.

Being at ease will really allow you to let go so you can fully appreciate your solo play. Not forgetting that being relaxed will also make the muscles in your vagina less tense.

Get to Know Your Vagina

Get to know your vagina!

The best way to really perfect your solo orgasm is by exploration and having fun! Book a date for you and your vagina. Take a tour. Get off at all the stops and be a tourist for once. Experiment with lots of touching and get to know your friend.

Get those legs up ladies and wile away the hours!

Self Pleasure is normal

Remember that whether you’re in a relationship or single, solo play is really important. Remember that self pleasure is normal and that you’re human. People have been doing it way before we were around and will continue to do it way after we’re gone. It is common behaviour, even amongst people who have partners. It is a fulfilling, healthy sexual activity.


Love and shit.